queasy · 38 days ago
So, theres a chance i’m getting squeamish in my old age. I’ve been struck by how yuck some of the ads on tv are – e.g. there’s a recent one for a men’s hair product that shows the ‘before’ man diving into the sea and emerging with a lot of fish spiked on his hair, all flapping and (I’m guessing) DYING but then he changes his hair gel and gets the girl. Now, I eat fish so I’m not pointing the finger and saying it’s wrong to kill them for said purpose, though I’d hope it happened somehow humanely and sustainably, BUT I just cannot fathom how that advert is meant to be ‘entertaining’ or even attractive enough to sell the product? Who passed it as a good idea?
The second one that makes me squirm is for a microwaveable burger and involves a rather lazy youngster sat in front of the tv unscrewing his finger, which then wiggles along to the kitchen and cooks him a burger and when he’s eating it later the same finger is screwed on backwards and it’s waggling about = URGH, it just makes me want to hurl and certainly doesn’t give me an appetite for what it advertises.
That is all…
cleavage · 39 days ago
Rehearsals for GREENER at the Gaiety Theatre continue apace and are very enjoyable, though now about to enter the realms of very scary as showtime approaches. The ladies of the company have been out and about doing press and one of those items was to appear on Ireland’s top chat show The Late Late Show. Our appearance coincided with the end of Cleavage Week – now I have to say I didn’t know such a thing existed until I saw that Holly Willoughby had ‘won’ the title. I was understandably aggrieved not to even get a mention because I am told I have a sizable and shapely rack and I mentioned as much live to the Irish nation and anyone who cares to look up the internet version of the show appearance. What I had not expected was that focus would be also thrust upon the wonderful chest area of our esteemed playwright Fiona Looney – she tells me that, for a brief period of time, her bosoms trended on Twitter. It made me feel almost proud, really…Ain’t technology and communication NUTS, too, these days!
sham · 60 days ago
It may not have escaped your attention that this weekend hosted the St Patrick’s Day celebrations. It happened to fall on a Saturday this year but even when it doesn’t the date for the parades and shenanigans is just shifted to the nearest weekend, a bank holiday declared, and all hell breaks loose. And if my mathematics are correct, all Christmas babies can date their conception back to this time in March – proof also, perhaps, that Jesus was Irish and a Paddy’s Day baby…please don’t feel this is blasphemy, it’s just a theory I’ve developed based on semi-solid scientific fact…
This year was tinged with some sadness for us Irish as we failed to beat our ancient sporting foe, the English, at rugby – it smarts quite a bit as we’re not rubbish at rugby.
And it seems the shamrock is, well, a sham…
Now, I don’t need to point out that the name is accurate in as much as the plant is clearly not a rock, not even close. But it seems it kind of doesn’t exist at all! Various professorly boffin types have asked citizens to send them samples of what they consider to be shamrock at times over the past decades and all are in fact clovers – the yellow clover being the one that is most commonly thought of as shamrock. The reason this imposter and its cousins have ‘got away’ with the ruse for so long is that they don’t flower until later in the year (at which time it’s clear that they’re clover and not the nonexistent shamrock) so they look all shamrocks in March. Shocking. Nature is a slippery madam and no mistake…
The cats refused to wear green for the celebrations. They, too, are madams.
MY V V BAD · 65 days ago
we’ll have to leave it at that title, cos i am MORTO i haven’t been in touch for so long. I am aware of what a wretched critter I am, fear not.
potted history of what’s been occurin’ –
I wrote my first stage play, and it had it’s casting process, read through, rehearsals, opening night and entire run all in 24 hours. It was part of an event to raise funds for Dublin Youth Theatre which has shepherded many into the Arts in Ireland and also just helped MANY teens get through teenagerdom. Mine was a complicated little number where 4 actors/actresses played a man called Brian, his Mammy and his dog Trixie in turn throughout. I must say I don’t have that bug of ‘i’d love to write a stage play (thank goodness, as I am put to the pin of my collar keeping up with all the rest) but I really enjoyed the experience.
It took some days to recover from the event and excitement, etc!
Since we last spoke there’s been International Polar Bear Day and International Women’s Day (no direct link between those 2, far as I know) and it got me to wondering what’s the difference between and International day and a World day?
I treated myself to a v expensive eye and lip cream (you all know I have the driest lips in the universe, probably, and am always on the hunt for THE lip balm) and though it has made little enough difference to me gob it did manage to sort of ‘burn’ the skin around my eyes! EEK. And this from a botanically excellent unction, if all blurb and awards are to be believed. v v disappointing, as i LOVES me a product. AND I don’t want to waste it by not using it, not at the price I paid (hid it on my credit card, that’s how guilty I felt)
My regular laptop is threatening to divide itself in 2 as the hinge is banjaxed, so I now have a new smaller, more gorgeous one while the oldie is still not fixed…there’ll be tears about that soon as not everything is backed up from the (previously) Old Reliable…again proof that i am a FULE
Miss Alice had to go back with her fangs and is feeling better and more attitude since a lot of money was spent (yet again) on the vet and meds…and, no, she ain’t insured…
The proofs of the teen novel are so totally beautiful that I find it hard to breather thinking about them. I’ll post up the cover and blurb here as soon as I figure out how (well, let’s be honest, I’ll get someone else to do it). I’m wading into number 2 bike right now and need to get a number of skates beneath me to speed the process along.
The knitting continues apace and i’ll show you all the fruits of same in a few months time, at which time i’ll be revamping this website too and forging on (bravely!) into The Future (plucky little P…ooh, pride/a fall anyone?)
In the meantime there’s the not inconsiderable issue of rehearsing and performing Miss Fiona Looney’s latest play GREENER at the Gaiety Theatre, Dublin, from 26 April. I think this one will be splendidly controversial – so much so that she and me are meeting today to figure out how to avoid being lynched for doing a measure socially taboo stuff within said play – watch this space and then come see the play and decide for yourself! I’ll pop up a poster with details here also v sune.
More anon, and not so long anon as last time…my v v v bad…
foiled · 98 days ago
I have had cats for a number of decades now – each is different (and anyone who tells you they only love you for food and warmth is a fool). However, it’s only recently that I have started buying toys for them – this latest duo, Brenda and Alice, are benefiting from a great spoiling altogether. For instance, I was in New York before Christmas and the gifts that were brought home were all for those hairy monsters. But as is always the way with big life lessons or proof of any cliche I am learning what everyone else probably know anyhow – they have decided (in their magnificent and flawless feline wisdom) that the rolled up balls of foil from chocolate wrappers are MUCH better fun than anything with cat nip in or feathers on or lots of money spent on it. Le Sigh. I am a silly old lady.
flesh · 99 days ago
I’m seeing a lot of boob-flashing going on in the papers/online right now. Can i just confess (as all of my devon pals will probably back up) i have had my moments doing such stuff. JAM AND JERUSALEM was a brilliant BBC show (that they so should re-commisssion) and the ladies of the same show loved to goad me into flinging out a flash whenever a few glasses of wine were involved (and also sometimes when we should all have had better sense) – v good fun and, as i was a tad younger, i hope not too traumatic for anyone involved. NOW where is she going with this we ask? – well, i have seen a few flashes recently in the press/online and it seems to involve a lot of flesh coloured bras = WRONG – most flesh coloured underwear is AWFUL!
so, if you’re gonna flash ANYTHING at all, man or woman, don’t even think about it if it involves those sheer(hell) flesh-coloured items. WRONG WRONG WRONG – and it ain;t just the ordinary sized people who have done this – rachel mcadams was picced doing it recently…still wrong…
cluck · 106 days ago
Chicken is a big favourite in the McLynn household, amongst both humans and hairies. I even tried a great chicken soup midday on a play reading recently that was v good indeed (it just might have been from a place with Pret in the title). And, reading a Janet Evanovich novel just now, I was reminded that the kookier inhabitants of Trenton New Jersey love Cluck in a Bucket. So, chooks have been featuring heavily. So much so that when I opened the ‘big’ oven in McLynn Mansion some days ago and found a long forgotten chicken I was overcome with several conflicting emotions – the greatest of which was how to blame Richard for abandoning the carcass there, whether he had or not.
It was quite a sight. The whole thing was like a mohair rendition of a cooked chicken – same shape but incredibly hirsute, in subtle shades of bluey greeny greys. It was, in its awful way, very lovely. And almost alive with penicillin, I thought – don’t know if I remember my science properly but wasn’t that discovered in mould? Struck me too that I was probably looking at my Turner Prize entry, or part thereof. It would comprise a kitchen and in every cupboard, pot and covered cooking spot there would be a living thing created by man’s neglect (superbusy modern lifestyle denying time for cleanliness etc) like my hairy chicken – mirroring life but with a twist. And an adventure for all attending the exhibit as the guest would have to open all pots etc to find the artistic statement. Now! I’m already at work on my acceptance speech.
I was also reminded of my pal’s Jonathan and Anne when they moved into their house many years ago and began to renovate it. One of the elderly sellers had thoughtfully left a partially eaten dinner in a cupboard (lamb chops and veg, if I am not mistaken) perhaps as sustenance for the young family about to move in. Mm hmm HMM!
thumbs · 110 days ago
alright, alright – time was when i would attack you every day with vacuous tales of canned goods, opposable thumbs and mohair!
now, it’s just getting by-ish – BUT i feel a SURGE coming on, including a quite interesting incident with chicken – so, see you tomorrow!
AND i went through a phase of flashing me boobs* like Denise Welsh, winner of the UK Celeb Big Brother, so i’ll not be pointing the finger there but to say that her breasticles looked v good to me…
*Devon, Jam and Jerusalem, a fair few peeps will be able to back me up on that – had to start wearing clothage that wouldn’t allow said flashing in the end – le sigh…
waving... · 116 days ago
One of the things I DON’T like about getting older (and there are quite a few) is that mortality loves to wave at you and attract attention more often than you might like. This is usually in the form of removing someone lovely from the world – used to be parents, now, as the years move on, it’s more and more likely to be an even closer generation age-wise. But when you’re up close to such a wave, in person as it were, it can get annoying. Take last night, when the plane I was travelling in aborted its landing quite close to the ground, revved up noisily and headed back high into the sky for another go-around. Reason? A rather calm pilot eventually told us there was still another plane on the runway on our first approach…that’ll do for the year now, thanks very much.
goanches · 122 days ago
Right, as of today I have decided to acknowledge 2012 as The New Year. Until now denial has suited me better and I rolled with it. In fact I extended Christmas by going to Tenerife where I hooked up with my Mum, brother (Ian) and sis in law (Curly). We ate far too many Canarian potatoes (oh so delicious – little balls of floury starch with v salty skins – v moreish…and then some more too) and made a custom of drinking at least one bottle of Cava a night. Curly emerged as a dab hand at popping the cork into the tree over the fence from the apartment (now full of corks and surely officially a cork tree?) without spilling a drop from within – top skill and should be recognised as such. We went on some adventures throughout the island and had great family rows in the car – Curly took her Guide’s Certificate while on our last journey to the volcano and when she reined in her ‘attitude’ she was most helpful, pointing out the ‘interesting rock formations’ right and left and the ‘pointy trees’ in the area. Very informative, I felt. We came across lots of sculptures of the GUanches who were the first warrior types to inhabit the island and a fine bunch of giants they looked too – we called them the GoWan-ches in honour of Mrs Doyle.
Plans are afoot here at McLynn Mansions to make plans and have them further afoot for 2012. For the moment I can report that the teen novel is in the copy-edit and will appear early June in book stores etc – it’s called ‘Jenny Q – Stitched Up!’ Before that I’ll tread the boards in Dublin at the Gaiety Theatre in Fiona Looney’s new play GREENER and then it’s back to London to film the second series of THREESOME for Comedy Central. Oh and I’m to be heard as Jason Byrne’s Mammy in his radio sitcom FATHER FIGURE on BBC Radio 2 from Feb 4…ENJOY!
Miss Alice got her teeth cleaned today – cost a fortune. I need the dentist BADLY but wouldn’t dream of spending such lavish sums on myself…le sigh! I am a fool for those cats.