patchy 23 June 2008
I had a lot of time to squander at the airport last night so I bought myself a self tanning lotion as I don’t have the time or, indeed, the weather to be getting a ‘natural’ burn. I thought I’d be grand with the chosen one as it was 1) quite expensive, even by airport standards and 2) it had a spray nozzle thingummy which, I reasoned, would save my palms for turning orange and also spread the unction better.
WRONG.
I sprayed it on this morning, in what I thought was a sweeping motion and by lunchtime I smelled like a nuclear armaments factory (or something equally vile) and was patchy like a piebald pony. IT IS A DISASTER. I look diseased. I am now sitting at home, resprayed and fearful – basically there will have been bits that got done twice and will be DARK whereas other parts will still be untouched and others pale. And now I HAVE to stick with it till it all joins up.
Tip for the manufacturers – make it like that paint that goes on pink but dries white so that a person KNOWS what bits need doing.
And top tip for me from now on is stay pale and interesting (always good to be the latter and right now I’d take the former at most prices).
The day went well other than that, I think…
