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hands 20 May 2009

WELL, I didn’t know the can of worms I opened but I am a Righty and so is The G Cat (we*/I think) BUT I hear (from Claudia in the US) that polar bears are lefties…nuff said…whatever that means…
I don’t understand Twitter but I imagine I nearly made it with the polar bear comment above…not a proud moment, mind you… *who exactly is WE?

early 18 May 2009

Tragically early start tomorrow and a full day of filming so I can no longer whinge about feeling a bit part time (you can never satisfy an actor – too much work and we slump around EXHAUSTED and too little and we’re paranoid and complaining of underuse). So it’s bed soon for me. Threw on the tv in the meantime and saw a bit of Gardeners’ World from the Chelsea Flower Show (v fuzzy reception as the telly is only plugged into the wall and has no signal but what’s flying round in the air) and there were many fabulous things but also a rarity, a plasticine garden created by a lad off a motoring show. I thought it was magical in its way. There have been accusations of making a mockery of actual gardening and so on but I don’t think that was the intention – it’s more to do with making a wonderful space with plants (even if they are artificial) and I think if it’s as beautiful and inventive as this it’s worth it. I often add inanimate objects to my patch for a bit of colour and interest and I see nothing wrong with that. Also my little space is so neglected this year that’s the plan i’ll have to follow a while yet, till i get a ‘good go’ of the place and can put some organic stuff in. The plasticine garden at the Chelsea show was made by all sorts from kids to sculptors and features the head of a bearded man who is in fact the creator of plasticine and he invented it because his modelling clay kept drying out and he decided to make one that didn’t. Centuries of fun guaranteed for future generations.

right hand 17 May 2009

I’m wondering if it’s possible for a cat to be right-pawed like humans can be right-handed? The G has an endearing habit of sitting on my chest (heavily, so that it’s sometimes hard to breathe – oh, her little foibles!) close to my face and then she reaches out her paw to touch my face, forgetting to keep her claws in as she takes said paw away – but ALWAYS her right paw….
There was still a fair niff of rat piss today even though I spent ages yesterday washing and disinfecting the area around the ‘nest’ (now removed) so I’ve had another go with even smellier/more disinfectanty fluids and seem to be making headway in vanquishing the awful whiff of the unwelcome visitor. The room has never been so clean – could be something in that and I may have to keep up my efforts …eek, is this creeping domesticity? We did have a wonderful cleaner till last June but because of the builders starting there was no work for her to do (the house was in total shite and there was no point in trying to go against that) but now that they are (dare I say it?) NEARLY finished we can’t afford to have her back so I am actually going to have to do all that myself from her on out – hopefully with some help from Himself (the G is a waste of space when it comes to washing anything but herself so I won’t even go there…). I really don’t enjoy housework – except for ironing, weirdly enough, which I find quite soothing and loading the various washing machines and letting them do their thing. Seems I’ll have to develop a taste for it all though.
I had a great time watching the Eurovision Song Contest with my pals Anne, Jonathan, Emily and Eleanor – many thanks to them for a fab night. I thought Moldova should have won but it was gratifying that the Eastern Bloc didn’t band as much together as in recent years and Norway won on merit – I don’t think it’s the greatest Eurovision winner ever but it will do and a certain faith in the system (which has been tweaked a tad, it must be admitted) has been restored. Roll on Norway in 2010.

nest 16 May 2009

Oh My God – I have just cleared away the rat’s nest – possibly THE most unpleasant task yet. The smell was only WOEFUL – a mixture of old and fresh shit along with lashings of ratpiss. I have put everything I wore and used into the washing machine on boil/stun and the kitchen is Milton-ed to within an inch of it’s life. Now I am off to boil/stun myself in the shower to remove the last vestiges of the worst job for a long while…Remind me never to share too much with you all in case you become disillusioned and begin to suspect that my showbiz lifestyle ain’t as glamorous as you might think…
Looking forward to Eurovision later – I know nothing about it this year, having seen none of the preliminaries and I’ve not heard any of the songs. Also Ireland didn’t qualify 2 nights ago (in spite of what I’m told was an ok song and a great performance) so I don’t need to worry about anything except the greatness of the contest itself. Now, if only the Russian authorities would allow the Gay Protests I’d be happy – it is, after all, International Gay Day for many of us (I am SO a gay man trapped in a woman’s body!!)

rat 15 May 2009

Well, there certainly is a rat sharing our Dublin house – if proof were needed, and I could’ve done without it, it ran across Richard’s foot as he was about to shower this morning…no denying it now, so. Seems it ran past the trap in the hot press (which is now full of solar panel water tank, in case you wanted to know) and got a HUGE fright and found itself veering into the nearest available room – the bathroom – just as Himself was about to sluice himself down. Frights all round and no sign of Ratus since. Hoping he/she* is a Norwegicus and not a Ratus Ratus as the latter is the plague carrier…

  • i suspect tis a She…Noel from across the road who is a pest control man has fished out a cosy bit of fibreglass etc from under my beautiful new cooker and reckons that might be the start of a nest and it’s unlikely a man rat would go to such trouble – the smell is still VILE but i’ll deal with that tomorrow.
    Basically, it’s war now and the rodent must DIE – plus I have to disinfect every inch of the house this weekend – it needs it anyhow notwithstanding the uninvited creature so it’s good to HAVE to…I guess…

disease 14 May 2009

I may laugh in the face of swine flu if it approaches me. I talked to a friend today who has kids that regularly bring home the most virulent germs in the known galaxy. He is often struck down and in tatters. He shares an office with my husband and so we also often have said germs and their manifestations home to us in whatever form they decide is best for Himself to harbour and transport. Some of these diseases have been tenacious, to say the least. Add to this that the awful smell we’ve had in our ‘new’ kitchen/really-just-the-accidentally-extended-washroom is probably due to a rat nesting…either currently or formerly – ARGH!* The builders are being extremely brave, along with lovely Noel from across the street who is a pest control man, and they are ‘dealing’ with it – tomorrow is a Big Day when they are moving machinery around and finding out where the suspected nest is/was and so on. I admire the smartness of the Mammy Rat who chose us – food supply courtesy of the cat bowls and a lovely safe environment (the cat is ANCIENT and afraid) to bring up her young. I want to warn her to move them – should there be a ‘them’ still there – and to never return BUT I know she won’t listen no matter what. If she is still around (brilliant mother and smart animal that she is) she will die tomorrow. I feel bad about that as she is to be admired, in her ratty way, BUT she is a RAT and must go…I hope all that’s there is the very smelly remnant of her happy home and we will make sure over the weekend that she can never move in again…. *all help gratefully accepted

war 13 May 2009

The news is full of heartbreaking footage today of the coffins of the four young soldiers killed, in one awful day in Afghanistan, coming home to Wiltshire. It is unutterably sad. War is such a greedy blight on the world. I don’t agree with it but that is in no way to lessen the sacrifice these brave people have made, whatever the reason they had for doing it. Between the four they were just over 100 years old. So sad.
Elsewhere it seems odd to me that the Pope, a man with a dodgy past, is in Israel procrastinating on national territory in his (now mild) German accent…with his history…or perhaps that’s just me…

porn 12 May 2009

On a train from manchester to london tonight and looked over the should of another passenger to see a headline ‘war on phwoar’ in the newspaper. Seems porn is everywhere. I have seen a loose/random/soft bit from time to time (hotels, my dears, boredom and so on, though i hasten to add that i am too mean to pay for it and just get – if you’ll forgive the awful pun – snatches of it!) and was always furious if it made me hot under the collar particularly if the people involved still had their knickers on. I have never seen ‘hard porn’ whatever that may be AND I am not curious. I am, as it happens, SLIGHTLY conflicted about that whole kit and caboodle as I don’t believe in censorship yet wouldn’t want a 5 year old (or anyone, ideally) watching snuff movies, for instance. I once opened an attachment on a email and could see early on that it was probably a photo of a child in his/her underwear and I IMMEDIATELY deleted it and now wonder if I should have reported it, but therein lies the coward’s question too – would anyone have thought it really was for me etc and would I have effectively looked like I was reporting myself? ie would the cops have thought I looked that image up for kicks? Anyhow, I am sorry I didn’t report it, as little as might or could have been done with it – it might have been traceable to some sick fuck who is/was vaguely on my database…
as to phwoar – we have almost lost that innocent ‘kiss me quick’ hat now…

protest 11 May 2009

I went for an hour long walk along the Thames this evening. I have been vaguely shadowing the Hubby on his ‘Caveman’ diet which is basically low-to-no carb (no potatoes, rice, pasta or refined foods) but knew I would gorge on chicken this evening (yes I did and am disappointed in myself that I couldn’t leave the excess alone!) so I should have made it 2 hours long. I took the route to the river by the Houses of Parliament and firstly saw a vast amount of motorcyclists ‘swarming’ in a side road. it was an amazing site and I wondered why they were being sort of corralled where they were (no idea what their gripe was either) but as I got closer to government I saw that Sri Lankans are continuing to protest outside the seat of power against the oppressive government in their homeland. I saw them some weeks ago too so I assume they are there every night. I think People Power is one of the most moving and enobling things and I back anyone’s right to protest. That’s what we have a democracy for. The Sri Lankans were sitting peacefully on the road (which is closed to traffic) chanting their slogans and no trouble to anyone – probably an annoyance to government and security, but that is as it should be, surely?
And elsewhere along the banks of the river tourists and joggers continued to do what they do, oblivious…

OMO 10 May 2009

I saw a great bit of art in a mate’s house a few nights ago. It is a brightly coloured representation of an old OMO box. For those of you unfamiliar with that, it was a detergent back in the day, and I certainly remember it being used in our house when I was growing up. This version was about the same size and had lovely shiny bits and some glitter. The reason she was given it was partly for fun because in ‘olden’ times bored housewives were said to put it in their window when their husbands were away to signal Old Man Out (or as we thought ourselves on the night On My Own) and a beau would see this and call around, so my pal now has that in case of that ‘lonely’ emergency situation!
I’m back on a plane…it’s getting to be my natural habitat again. I had a good view of the runway as we took off tonight and a great patch of it was quite black, presumably from tyres hitting it on landing, and I got to wondering what happens to old airplane tyres when their working life is over? I know that car tyres are sometimes used as planters but the ones on planes must be big, like tractor tyres…ideas on the back of a 50 pound note please (oh okay, I’ll take dollars, euros, or any hard currency really)

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