irish 14 September 2010
So, there are plenty of ‘irish’ jokes out there – and some of them very funny, and adaptable to other countries (and within said countries and all that) – but it’s when the actual country is providing their own joke, as ‘twere, that you gotta worry – so I give you this gem: the Irish Minister of State for Science offered to launch a book trashing evolution this week and reluctantly stepped down from that at the last moment…I’m not saying anything about the science of it all (though you might have all guessed that I kinda BELIEVE in, er, logic – I mean evolution) BUT surely he shouldn’t even have considered it???
heavy 13 September 2010
I had one of those amorphously anxious weekends – a mixture of things and yet no one thing that could be pinpointed as the cause of the indistinct (though quite real) worry. When I’m physically ill my body shuts down and I sleep and yesterday my head decided to do the same, so I spent my time wandering from bed to kettle and back and sleeping. Didn’t have too much to report as a result. Today, giddy and back – all is well, and I got lots of SLEEP (my favourite). So what’s to complain about, eh? Not a lot, mes amis.
Scottish 11 September 2010
I was at the Proms in the Park in Manchester tonight (yes, that was me on a hill to the left of the stage) and it was a great night out but the whole thing was truly made for me by a woman sitting behind our group who gave a repeated and orgasmic ‘YES!’ to all musical pieces played. It was almost like a rallying call. She was particularly taken with John Barrowman and when he told us, before singing ‘I am what I am’, that lots of people wanted to him to change things about himself over the years and he refused she shouted ‘you’re a Scottish’ (sic) with no dark intent or malice, and then continued to shout ‘Scottish’ with fair regularity…which was further enhanced by the fact that John Barrowman was speaking with his American accent tonight. YES!
Great fire works display at the end (though I’d say it represented a year’s budget for the arts in someorother area!).
Good times.
mobile 10 September 2010
I was in such a delighted rush off the set (a whole hour early) that I forgot my mobile phones. There are a few things wrong with the last sentence but the one that is most awful (?) is that I mentioned phoneS = plural. Yes, in spite of always declaring I wouldn’t ever do it, I have 2 phones now – one UK and one Irish. Now, although I might have been able to email anyone ‘urgently’ that night by way of contact I realised that I don’t have an alarm clock anymore but for what’s on either phone…and I had a 6.10am pick-up the following morning. SO a unit driver was good enough to bring me the phoneS I had mistakenly left in my dressing room…but it’s just as well I spotted all of this as I got out of the car that left me home because THERE ARE NO PUBLIC TELEPHONES anywhere near where my flat is in Manchester. In fact, I can’t remember the last time I saw such a thing (if ever) on the streets surrounding me. Have all such phones disappeared now…or nearly so…in any town or city? And when am I going to invest in an actual alarm clock to cover any potential future showbiz disaster…
beets 9 September 2010
I sing the praise of beetroot – it is surely the greatest of all of the root vegetables? And it is gloriously in season right now. Mind you, I ate one raw yesterday (from a friend’s veg plot) and everything is coming out red today – and I looked like a messy vampire after I’d scoffed it…but those are the only disadvantages I can think of…
duff 7 September 2010
I’ve been watching a baking programme on and off on tv and it’s addictive – better to watch than to bake and eat though (especially if you have to take your kit off now and again on said tv as Ye Olde McLynn has to every so often these days, mirabile dictu). Anyhow, tonight it told of the legends that are Hot Jam Duff and Spotted Dick…what fantastic names – and I bet they tasted good too!! See? You CAN have it all…
almonds? 6 September 2010
OK, i (first of all) have to apologise for doing so many people’s heads in with the toblerone thing but i could not go down alone. my remembering was that it was triangular CHOCOLATE from triangular trees and a lot of you agree…there is, also however, the suggestion that it was triangular ALMONDS from triangular trees – discuss. for all who led me to youtube and the actual ad, i must thank you but confess that there’s something wrong with the sound on my laptop right now so i can’t HEAR THE THING = useless (me and laptop) – but thanks anyhow (i intend to make a lovely nerd-type person in the apple store in manc sort it out next week).
can’t remember what the other thing was…perhaps that manchester is LASHED with rain at the moment and i am supposed to be going to the PROMS in the park on saturday – it needs to seriously P**S OFF!
triangular 5 September 2010
Had a right card in charge of a flight this evening – a head stewart who, though i suspect as gay as a nine pound note, pulled some curtains around and told his female cohort that she had been veh naughty and was about to be spanked. Then he sang a bit of that Toblerone ad from way back when that went ‘Toblerone…out on its own…triangular chocolate – that’s Toblerone’ now after that there is a line about triangular chocolate from….THIS IS THE BLANK….and then ‘triangular honey from triangular bees, and oh Mr Confectioner, please, give me Toblerone.’ if anyone can put me out of my misery and tell me what that line is i will be v v grateful
carmen 3 September 2010
i had a tremendous dream last night/this morning that i was just about to be cast as Carmen in a new ENO production and i passed through a series of auditions singing very well indeed. it made me long all the more to be able to do just that and not just ‘hold a tune’. then, as is the way of these things, the dream moved on into a pub siege where i secured money for ‘hardware’ to fight the baddies (who were invading the place) by rifling through the purses of women who had to give up ransom money for their kids (NO idea where that came from – perhaps i am reading too many thrillers right now?) AND i even took the time to ridicule those poor unfortunates who’d even given up the refund on their bus tickets to secure the release of their nearest and dearest (i assume they had been released as they were nowhere in evidence in the pub)…it all means that i was of dodgy dealings too, of course, not just the villains who were all set for a shoot-out with me and my cohorts (and yes, i did feel a bit like peggy mitchell out of TV’s ‘Eastenders’ just then, and i have the vaguest feeling i looked like her too…) though i’d still prefer to be able to sing opera well…
jumbo jumbo 2 September 2010
I went through Manchester Airport yesterday, like the other huge bird that visited. The v v v big plane that holds 800+ souls is going to fly out of there to Dubai regularly from now on and was on view. I’m kind of glad I didn’t see it as it just sounds TOO enormous for me. What a miracle of technology that something so large can stay up there in the sky…but I don’t think I’d fancy travelling in it. Still, I hear there’s a sauna and jacuzzi and I’ll bet within the year they’ll have figured out how to have a swimming pool in it too – it’ll be a veritable cruise ship in the sky.
I now know that I should iron my face every morning before work waffle pillow or no (thanks for that tip) and also to avoid buttons on a pillow too. Apparently we should all be sleeping on silk – it’s a nice thought…