wrecked 10 April 2011
Rory McIlroy didn’t make it to the Master’s green jacket so my heart is broken but he WILL some day, and hopefully in my lifetime. He is a great and that’s that.
The other pertinent thing is that i am WRECKED from going to sleep every night. Yes, the dreams are still rampant and very real -i have recently been angelina jolie (tho i was not happy with my lipstick, nor LIPS if i’m honest: they weren’t quite right) and in that particular dream – which had a brilliant narrative – i was dodging all sorts of Cold War types and Tommy Tiernan was along somewhere for a while, with some great boxer shorts on but a bit of a builder’s bum..following night i spent all of a dream in conversation with Dom Irrera (and wish i could remember it cos it will have been a right laugh and provocative too). Last night I was deep in tussle with several sudoku puzzles that kept ending with repeat 1s and 6s and would NOT work out = Groundhog Sudoku…
Brenda is very unhappy with arrangements in the house – not up to her standards at all and she is clearly very badly treated…and she is being quite vocal about how tragic her circumstances are…
Alice is ZEN but will take a terrible revenge if pushed…
lazy 6 April 2011
I have spent the last few days being annoyed with myself for being so lazy and brainstalled…and I was simply unable to admit it to you all. I’m basically a workshy nuisance who has started baking cakes and cookies druing the day and having mad dreams while asleep at night. In fact the dreams are probably the most interesting bit of my life and they don’t really exist, if you know what I mean. Though you have to love being in one as the heir to a communist regime (having taken over the role from an unrecognisable Jennifer Aniston playing a woman of about 150 with startling though milky blue eyes) and while your friend (Victoria Smurfit as herself) is playing a dvd of a lot of kids saying motherf**ker you have to say to her ‘could you turn that down, my decadent western friend’ – I kid you not, this happened, well, in my (actual) dream it did.
Mind you, I did get to see BETWEEN BLACKROCK AND A HARD PLACE at the Gaiety Theatre on Monday and if you are in Ireland at all do travel and catch it – a top night’s entertainment with laughs, satire, and a genuine look at how hell, particularly family, can be other people. It’s by the peerless Paul Howard and features his incredibly wonderful creation Ross O’Carroll Kelly, and clan, and is produced impeccably by Ms Anne Clarke of Landmark Productions (and soon-to-be birthday girl of some note in this town).
I am, actually, back to writing the teenage novel, so I am 13 again, which probably explains the long periods of doing nothing and complaining about them…
Later this month I go to Sheffield to start rehearsals for HAPPY DAYS by Samuel Beckett at the Crucible and we’ll be performing that monster classic for its 50th anniversary from May 20th (for 17 performances) so I do hope you can make that too. Booking has also opened for that, by the way.
Alice and Brenda are free range, having conquered the cat flap with ease – if only I could let them know somehow that I won’t be hurt or feel ignored or disappointed in them in any way if they take to doing their ablutions outdoors from now on…
cashmere 30 March 2011
So, I get the old adage that you win some you lose some…eg I got 2 cats and they have taken hold of my best and most expensive hand knitted piece of Lainey Keogh cashmere therefore I have lost that. It’s a red hooded coat that I love. Trouble is, so do they, love it, a lot. So much that they will even share it = unusual: though they’re sisters they usually sleep apart BUT not when there’s a favourite bit of luxurious, artisan-crafted wool involved. I suppose they’d say they’re reinforcing the garment and, in their furry way, they are because it is now part cat – their black and grey hairs woven sneakily into the knit…which may be impossible for me to remove or untangle – if I ever manage to wrestle it away from them without the usual flaying of my hands and legs (and any other bit they can reach) that is…GOOD TIMES, for cats…
wazz 28 March 2011
Himself sent me a great photo from Bucharest. It’s of a gents loo door and the illustration on it shows a man’s back as he’s having a wazz and it says ‘give piss a chance!”.
In related news, as you know, Himself also like to listen to the Russian radio station Golus Rassi early in the mornings before setting off for work. And so, the early morning ablution chez nous is now a Glorious Wazzee.
You will all be delighted to know that I am now finished with such tales and I have very definitely, therefore, drawn the line at solids…
Good times.
skype 25 March 2011
i have spent the week on skype calls with 2 wonderful (and hugely helpful) men i am working with on an animated family feature film. but because we were chasing a deadline i took my calls on work done every day, then wrote…and no exercise. it was mixed with letting the 2 cats out into the garden unfettered and keeping an eye on them – some interesting hollers mid call while discussing the jeopardy of carious characters and me roaring ‘alice! brenda!’. the weather has been lovely and we all enjoyed the back garden – and all 3 of us squealed at butterflies and bumble bees and brenda jumped very high indeed to try to catch a fly. so, i have a muffin top in JUST A WEEK! and i really do have to admit that that same muffin top might also have come from eating, erm, muffins – Himself is addicted to the chocolate cakes i am making (for him) and i have moved them onto muffins now – but i am also now eating them and they are going STRAIGHT ON to my fleshy waistline. the treatment is done, the treadmill awaits and i am DETERMINED to get rid of that roll-o-fat…there’s me plan anyhow…
all love and bye for now from
FATTY
privilege 21 March 2011
I didn’t know that top Irish civil servants get 2 ‘privilege days’ that are fairly entirely outdated now and which they are going to keep after a ruling today. Basically these Privilege Days date back to pre-Independence when those workers were allowed a day off for the King’s birthday and one for Empire Day – and, eh, we have neither now (not that we really had the Empire, ahem…) Seems to me that’s like being arrested now for doing something on your bicycle that’s illegal according to an obscure horseless chariot act of the 18th century, or not wearing your sword while crossing the municipal square – in other words, bygone..and just a bit hilarious – except that, apparently, it costs quite a bit to the country to have these Privilege Days still allowed
printer 18 March 2011
There is a cat video on the net voiced by humans that covers what they think and say when the copier isn’t working and it involves a lot of actual hitting with paws of said machine. It’s very funny. And my cat Brenda (nee Ariel) has not seen it. Yet today, as I plugged the laptop into the printer she came up to it and hit it a pawthump worthy of the internet posting – for no reason whatsoever (it hadn’t yet made a noise!) Impressive. She knows stuff and she’s been ‘up to things’ that’s for sure. For instance, imagine my surprise when I watched an animation tonight about dragons that starred HER – yes, the hero dragon was played by Brenda, had to be, no way round it. I just wish she would share her secret with me…though I know she never will…
Alice remains a steadfast sleepcatcher and has a wonky winky right eye at the moment. She loves a rub though and seems to like it when that’s quite like a cat massage – I seem to remember Sparkle Hayter writing of such a cat treat in her fab series of detective books?
Yes, I know, enough of the creatures – live your life, pauline, and get out more…but they’re just so great (and I do get to do a trawl of the back garden with Brenda on the diamante harness, though I have a feeling that she’ll reverse that arrangement the first opportunity she gets…and there’s an image to conjure with…)
pencil 17 March 2011
Ah now, the whole order thing is proving tougher to put into play than I expected. In this matter I am probably my own worst enemy and have, doubtless, started to big. (Actually, I love that rejoinder to someone when they say they’re their own worst enemy and you get to go ‘not while I’m still alive, you’re not’). I think my main trouble is the getting bored halfway through some of the orderly projects I have set myself and moving on without finishing any single one of them (then bitter self recrimination can begin). Perhaps it’s best illustrated by a simple event from earlier today – I was in a recording studio (Bless Advertising!) and was helping myself to a pen but changed when I saw they had foxy pencils – I prefer a pencil and that mark it makes and the fact that it can be erased and changed…and I wonder if it means committment issues?? (and if I will ever truly finish anything without hankering after change)
order 14 March 2011
In the face of HUGE and tragic world events I am, quite naturally, feeling small and insignificant AND lazy to be honest. SO i have decided to get organised…i know, AM I MAD? CAN IT BE DONE? (at all at all) my start will be this site, so if you have ever emailed and not got a peep back the peep may be on its way soon…I don’t know if I have what it takes to truly get to the bottom of every ignored mess in my life but I’ll try my best, with the most obvious shit first…hold tight, everyone, this could get ugly…
Brenda was brought out intot he back garden on her (pink, diamante) harness/leash by Himself on Sunday – oh to have been there to take a picture…
harness 10 March 2011
Well, clearly the Brendacat cannot understand how I can live with myself. I am an inferior being and make poor choices, especially when it comes to her. The harness was a case in point. I selected a lovely pale pink one with some diamante detail. She was ENTIRELY unimpressed by it, even though it led to her getting outside. She FLAYED me as it went on and then tried some expressive leaps to shake the instrument of torture off. Later, back in the house, I left it on to let her get used to it – another rotten decision. She walked around with her tummy on the floor under the weight of the evil thing, and the sheer awfulness of her life in general, and I just had to take it off when she gave me the ‘eye’ as she tried to wash but couldn’t because of the THING binding her.